Phew, Casey. What an exhausting way to live! I’m glad you’ve found a better way. Thank you for sharing.

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So many thoughts 💭

Performance, trying to get everything right. I was constantly inserting myself into the process of those struggling in an attempt to make my own suffering at least have a purpose.

I thought 💭 If I can make them feel seen and heard, understood and valued, then it would be worth all the times I was not seen, heard or understood.

I about killed myself saying “yes” when I wanted to say “no” I thought because I didn’t want anyone to ever feel the way I felt.

This performance based connection had me so busy that I had a difficult time shutting down to rest. There’s no time for rest, people are hurting! When I couldn’t help them with their perceived needs, I would spend hours reading Scripture and Praying.

I’m not saying those things are bad, but I was way out of balance and being needed and involved became my obsession. And how could it be bad? I mean, I was leading people to Jesus, attempting to disciple them and praying with them. We are told to do these things in Scripture.

But I was not doing it as led by the Spirit! I was doing it so my life and all I had suffered felt it had a purpose.

As I’ve been able to face hard truths about my Christian life, I still do many of these things but from a different mindset. I believe God has and is using it all for His purposes and glory as I daily bring it all to Him.

I am so happy to see so many different people who are basically coming to the same conclusions about authenticity and learning better ways to connect and share.

Thank you for your insight!

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